Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It is self conscious and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do them.
– Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)
One of the most challenging aspects of creativity for me is making it a daily habit. Having worked through my early art education where creative output was structured and assignment based then becoming a commercial production artist where creative output was dictated by clients, budgets, and briefs, I felt like I have always been producing in a constructed time frame. My creative work was deadline driven. Because these deadlines were often tight and the work was challenging my down time was not spent creating any art. I have always admired people who are able to do this. It seemed to me that their passion for creating was all consuming. It was who they were. As for me it was what I did and the creative self connection was becoming muddied by constantly producing in a commercial context.
When I finally reached a maximum burn out level in 2008 when I was working as an art director in video games. I decided to stop and commit myself to my own work, my own ideas on my own time. This commitment came in the form of my animated short film Creamers. It was a project that had been in gestation for years. I would work on it in fits of peak and then feel worried about the time and money such a large undertaking would entail. I would drop it as soon as something paid would come along. The dismal experience of my last full-time job in video games broke this cycle. Creamers did become a habit. It was my daily practice and with the exception of life, deaths and the odd gig Creamers was all consuming for 6 years. But I approached this personal project with the same kind of management strategy I would have a commercial production. Set the goal, outline what you have to do create a workflow that would enable me to delegate the workload and then, without much reflection, work non- stop until it was completed. Upon its completion I reached a new level of burnout. Which is not surprising as creating my film was not a mindful practice but rather a huge mountain that had to be climbed. However, I did not emerge from this experience as that sketch booking carrying, constantly evolving super- artist that I so envied. But I had committed myself to my own work, my own ideas on my own time. That at least was a start.
This brings me back to the idea of daily creativity and how it can be achieved. Practice that doesn’t feel like a creaky chore but a quiet flowing stream that meanders through all the other distractions and work commitments of my life. I began by reading. The first book I read was a series of short articles edited by Joceyln Glei the editor in chief at the website 99u.com called Building Your Routine, Find Your Focus &Sharpen Your Creative Mind. The chapter that jumped out at me was one on perfectionism. It was a scarily accurate description of my own behaviour and work attitude by self-described recovering perfectionist Elizabeth Grace Saunders. In it she defines perfectionism as: “A personality disposition characterized by an individual striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high standard accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations”. (Glei 2013: 204) The mindset of idealism she discusses reveal the real toxin of perfectionism; judgement and crushing self-criticism. There is a myth of that perfectionism is a positive force for creative people. At least that has been my experience in the world of commercial production art. For me it has come to feel like a kind of illness. An illness that actually stops you from succeeding and producing. As she states in her article – “ If you refuse to put yourself in a situation where you might give an imperfect performance you’ll prevent yourself from receiving the proper feedback, input and direction necessary for additional growth.” (Glei 2013: 205) Perfectionism is a constant state of judgement. It doesn’t practice. Saunders continues to outline two different approaches to creative work, a pragmatic approach and a perfectionist one. The perfectionist waits until the moment is ideal and clear of distractions (everyone knows this moment doesn’t exist) then running short on time ends up working in a frenzy, mired in self-recrimination for not starting earlier. Their initial obsession over unnecessary detail eats away at time and then they end up rushing the meat of the project. Ultimately the project suffers from this lack of balance or never sees the light of day because the idea of actually completing might mean failure or worse mediocre reception. I know this approach well. Moving towards the idea of practice not perfection I am working on becoming a creative pragmatist. Keeping an eye on all elements of the project and giving myself permission to move laterally or circle back to revisit if time allows. This is a step towards practice and one I did make towards the end of my film. But I feel that to achieve the daily part of this creative practice I would have to let go of more. This led me to considering the idea of drawing as mediation. As a regular practitioner of yoga, I thought if I approached creative work the same way it might be easier to make it a habit as opposed to an end product. An act of observation where the subject is not the most important thing. To relieve myself of this state of over thinking and enter what has often been described as ‘flow’. In her book Mindfulness and the Art of Drawing , Wendy Ann Greenhalgh talks about the Zen notion of soshin or beginner’s mind, ‘When we practice beginner’s mind we come to our experience afresh each time. Beginner’s mind allows us to focus on the process of drawing and let go of preoccupation with product.” (Greenhalgh 2013:8) Coming to my MA so much later in life and my career will give me the opportunity to get into this unthinking mind state. This exploratory part of my studies will help me move another step closer to daily creative practice.
eNotes, (2016) [Online] Available at: https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-this-quote-by-ray-bradbury-mean-dont-think-793697. (Accessed 21 November 2018)
Glei, J.K. Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus & Sharpen Your Creative Mind (2013) Las Vegas : Amazon Publishing pp 203-209
Greenlagh, W.A. Mindfulness and the Art of Drawing London (2017) : Leaping Hare Press pp 17-18